India so far…
“Who you are is speaking so loudly that I can’t hear what you’re saying.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I headed to the airport this morning and went through security, which is much more intense than any I’ve been through yet. Along with a thorough screening, women (because there are male and female lines) were pushing and trying to get in front of me. The concept of a line is lost here. After that was done, I found a Starbucks, my go-to place when I felt overwhelmed. Unfortunately, it isn’t working its magic here. Even at Starbucks, they are pushy and trying to get me to buy a cookie, then a sandwich, or maybe some mints, nuts.…dear God, just no, can I please have my americano? So I sat down, and instead of the rush of calm I usually get from the familiar at Starbucks l, I’m fighting tears of sheer overload. I hate India. No, no, that’s too harsh. But my experience here has been off. For instance, tour guides in all the cities I’ve been to have been kind and informative and given advice about where to eat, what to avoid, scams to watch out for, etc. In India, the tour guides lead you into pressured sales places and obviously get kickbacks from the shops. It’s uncomfortable and makes the whole experience negative for me. Literally, everything is a negotiation. I don’t mind a little haggling in some shops, but you have to walk away from every rickshaw, tuk-tuk, or taxi multiple times before coming to an agreeable price, and honestly, I’m pretty sure I overpay. Tips are expected everywhere. I’m tired of paying to go to the bathroom, especially when I have to bring my own tissues! For the first time in my travels, I lie when I’m asked if I’m on my own. There’s just something about the way they ask. There are things that break my heart. The poverty is desperate. Children are begging in the streets, which you see everywhere, but they grab your arm, and some are crying. It’s awful and much more pitiful than anything I’ve encountered. I won’t even get into women and the patriarchy here. The abused elephants.The pollution. The monkeys scare me; they keep telling me not to take pictures or make eye contact with them, or they sometimes will attack. Ugh! I need to reframe my mind for Rishikesh. I’m checking into an ashram there today. Surely, I will find some calm. At least I should try to go in with a positive attitude, but I can feel myself shutting down. I know I’m heading there not a moment too soon. I don’t want to bail without trying to adapt, but it’s a struggle here. I know people love this place, and I certainly don’t mean to be disrespectful. there is much to love, but the pushy culture and constant feeling that I’m being scammed are not for me. I have only been to New Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur. I should not make sweeping judgments. Before Cairo, New York was the biggest city I’d ever been to. It’s much smaller, but the wealth and systems I take for granted make it much more manageable. New Delhi was overwhelming for me, and though Agra and Jaipur are smaller, they still feel so packed with people. The cows are everywhere, too. It seems a hard life to be a city cow. I am doing this on a middle-of-the-road budget. I can see that experiences vary based on what you pay. I went with the premium experience in Egypt, which made a big difference. Having said that, I appreciate travel that makes you feel like you have a better idea of how an average family lives. The feeling that maybe you understand a place a bit better after spending time there. Many things were kept out of sight in Egypt. But then again, I guess many things are not within my sight in the United States, too. In the end, I know it’s a positive experience to see the world more clearly. Taking the blinders off can be hard, though. I don’t think I’ll have much access to the internet and communications at the ashram. I’m booked there for a few weeks. Hopefully, it’s wonderful, and I make it. If not, you’ll hear from me soon. It feels better to vent sometimes, thanks:) Wish me luck and namaste. I’ll work on my attitude!
XOXO,
Bon